I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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