So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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