I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
