normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
