am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize