Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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