Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
