Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize