I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
