OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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