very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
