he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
