You're completely useless in the revolution.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
