were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
