The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
