she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
