Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
