He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its about making memories worth repressing
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This is the high leading the old right now
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize