weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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