We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
