I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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