She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
