So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize