2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
