clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
