so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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