No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize