i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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