In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
