If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
