Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
