I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
