another moral hangover. fuck.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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