She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
