butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize