Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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