make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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