I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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