And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
