i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
