Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I cannot find my penis.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
