so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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