I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
