Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sponge bath it is.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
this hospital has no fireball
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
