I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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