As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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