Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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