just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
