Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
