please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
