we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
