Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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