yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dignity is for republicans.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
NoShamevember. You game?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
