So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
