Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
