Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
